Dragging my feet to the kitchen, I swiped the open bottle from the counter and refilled my wine glass. But before taking a sip, I stopped myself. I couldn't carry on like this. It was June 2018 and I'd been drinking more than usual since losing my husband Ben to bowel cancer 10 months earlier. During the day I kept busy, staying strong for our girls, Georgina, then five, and Harriet, 23 months but when they were in bed and I was alone, I'd collapse in a pit of grief, drinking several glasses of wine to numb the pain.
Of course I always felt rubbish the following morning. I'm not going to drink tonight, I'd tell myself, but it never worked. Until that evening in June 2018, two months before the first anniversary of Ben's death. I asked myself, 'What would Ben want?" And I knew he'd tell me to live my life as wholly as possible. So I made a promise to myself to stop drinking once and for all.
STEP BY STEP
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Denne historien er fra January 15, 2024-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
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MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on the gender gap, cats and timed hugs
Check out CHICAGO
With a spectacular skyline, sandy beaches and great food, the Windy City is calling, says Zoe West
LET'S EMBRACE OUR CHRISTMAS TAT!
Becky Dickinson explains why she'll still be rocking around her tinsel-strewn tree this year
BURIED SECRETS
We look at the shocking cases of celebrities posthumously accused of being sexual predators-and how they got away with it
FESTIVE NO-BAKES
Pop on the Christmas tunes and whip up a batch of these easy sweet treats
PROTECT YOUR SMILE
Are you doing enough to look after your teeth and gums?
'TIS THE SEASON TO SHINE!
At last, Hayley McCrossan, 39, feels fit and healthy
FOR THE LOVE OF TOM
When Deborah Mitchell, 57, lost her son, she vowed to help other families facing the same heartbreak
THE NURSE WHO LEFT MY GRANDAD FOR DEAD belict
Rachael Fealey, 31, had one question for the woman who killed her beloved Grampa - how could you?
Coleen's MONEY WORRIES
What are the reasons behind her financial and marriage fears?