Rocking my son in my arms as he wept, both sadness and relief engulfed me. 'It's going to be OK', I promised him. It was 2010, and Hayden, then 12, had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
In 2002, when Hayden was five, his father Dave, 33, died by suicide. Dave had bipolar, so I knew the signs. Hayden showed them all - mood swings and big highs followed by extreme lows. I'd started homeschooling him, but it wasn't until Hayden attempted suicide at the age of 12 that the doctors took me seriously.
I'm scared, Mum,' he said, the day he was diagnosed.
'I know, sweetheart. But now we can get you the help you need,' I reassured him.
With the right medication, I knew Hayden could have the happy life he deserved; and, to my relief, within a few months he'd settled back at school. He'd come home smiling, joking that he didn't have any homework, just to get out of doing it. He'd been so cheeky as a youngster, and I loved seeing that side shining through again. Family life with my new husband Kevin, then 50, Hayden and his siblings Perry, then 23, Rachael, 18, and Jamie, 16 - was hectic but fun.
Shortly after Hayden finished school at 16, he told me he wanted to stop taking his meds. 'Please don't,' I begged. He was doing so well, and I wanted it to continue.
'I feel fine, Mum,' he said. 'I don't need them now.'
His mind was made up, and so I told Kevin, who had a close relationship with Hayden, I'd keep a close eye on him. Hayden seemed to cope, though, and eventually trained as a manager at the pub where Kevin and I worked. Hayden loved it, and his fun side really came out.
Denne historien er fra September 16, 2024-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
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Denne historien er fra September 16, 2024-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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FAST & THRIFTY DINNERS
Filling family meals to save you time and money
ARE VIRAL FITNESS TRENDS WORTH THE HYPE?
Keen to know if the workouts she sees online can actually make her fitter, Rachel Tompkins, 44, gives them a try
GO OUT OF SEASON
While some European cities seem to go into hibernation over winter, others just get better in the colder months
MY LIFE IN MUSIC
Monica Cafferky, 55, reveals how certain tunes bring back special memories
THE DECISION THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
After trying diets without success, Breanne Concannon, 31, was left feeling hopeless
MY TOY ΒΟΥ KEEPS ME YOUNG
For Trish Hughes, 44, the thrills of being married to a man 20 years younger is worth all the judgement
'THAT'S NOT MY BABY'
Lying in the hospital bed, my husband Michael had tears of happiness in his eyes as he showed me a photo on his phone. 'Here she is,' he said proudly. 'This is our beautiful baby girl.'I stared at the photo and shook my head. 'No, that's not my baby,' I said. 'There must be a mistake.'It was August 2010 and I'd not long before had an emergency caesarean. I'd not had a chance to see Winnie when she arrived as she'd been whisked away for tests because she was nearly two months premature.
CAUGHT IN THE ACT
Hayley, 45, has her son to thank for crucial evidence
'I'D LOVE TO DO EASTENDERS'
Loose Women's Linda Robson on the daytime show, dating and her next career move
Beckhams INSIDE THEIR PROPERTY EMPIRE
We take a look at the power couple's posh pads