Dropping the empty wine bottle into the recycling bin, I tried to ignore the obvious clink of glass. It was November 2021 and I was stuck in an endless cycle, reaching for the wine every night. Despite my love of vino, I wasn't an alcoholic as I could easily go without wine. But recently I'd gained weight, wasn't sleeping well and my self-esteem was low. And worse than that, I felt like I wasn't being the mum that my children deserved.
For most of my adult life I was a steady size 14. Weighing around 11st, and at 5ft 2in, I was content with my body. Of course, when I had my boys, Teddy in December 2014, then Joey two years later, I put on a bit of weight but I managed to lose most of it after. I exercised often and I had a gym membership too, which I used for classes. My husband Tommy and I enjoyed the odd Indian takeaway, but most of the time we ate home-cooked, healthy meals.
But in November 2018, we lost Tommy's mum Lin, and through the stress and grief I found myself reaching for a glass of red wine most evenings. The pattern continued and by the time we went into lockdown in March 2020, my evening wine ritual was in full swing.
Teddy, then five, was in reception at school and Joey, three, was in nursery, so when everything shut down and homeschooling started, I found it all too much and by 4pm I was cracking open a bottle of red, pouring myself generous glasses.
Tommy went the opposite way, working out at home and going on bike rides. But lockdown made me feel really low and by the summer, I was drinking even more. Tommy must have noticed, but he never said anything, probably assuming I'd cut back as soon as lockdown ended.
Denne historien er fra January 01, 2024-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra January 01, 2024-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
MAGNIFICENT MAURITIUS
Pe This istand in the ut 7% Indian Ocean feels Sa: like paradise, says Charlotte Richards
I HATE BEING A MUM
One woman, 55, reveals why she resents all of the sacrifices she made to be a mother
SLASH SUGAR AND SLIM
Trying to lose weight? With these clever tweaks, you don’t have to miss out on the seasonal sweet stuff
DAWN HARPER ASK THE DOCTOR
Doctor Dawn Harper answers all your questions
SEX HORRORS SOLVED!
Stop physical intimacy from turning into the stuff of nightmares with our expert advice
THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE WITH CANCER
More than 12,000 people are diagnosed with brain tumours each year in the UK. Two mums tell us how the cruel disease changed their lives forever
DAWN NEESOM MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on marriage, tea and Absolutely Fabulous!
TRAPPED INSIDE MY HOME WITH A MONSTER
Gemma Williams, 46, thought she'd die at the hands of her partner
AMANDA TO REPLACE CAT?
With increasing criticism directed at the This Morning host, are producers ready to call in a familiar face?
Get the GOSS
Your round-up of this week's biggest showbiz stories