SEX, DISABILITY AND ME

Lorraine Stanley, 50, doesn’t let her disability hold her back in the bedroom any more

As I leapt energetically at the front of my aerobics class, sweat poured off me. ‘Great work today, ladies!’ I beamed. It was August 2004 and my new aerobics business was going well. I’d started out four months earlier after a career change from my job in the public sector, and now I was leading nine classes per week.

‘And remember, 20 minutes of exercise a day – however you get it!’ I winked at my class. Aged 31, I was as active between the sheets with my partner as I was leading my aerobics class. But as I packed up my kit, I knew there would be none of that tonight. I had a sore throat and figuring I had a bug, I decided on a few early nights.

Instead, weeks passed and I only felt worse. I was permanently exhausted and my muscles burned. I could barely get out of bed, let alone run an aerobics class, and I gradually taught fewer and fewer classes.

The GP couldn’t work out what was wrong. After two years of tests – and constant exhaustion and pain, I was diagnosed in summer 2006 with myalgic encephalomyelitis, known as ME, and fibromyalgia – a chronic condition that causes full body pain.

Struggling with the reality of my disabilities, my relationship broke down and I needed a carer.

Life was tough – and incredibly lonely. Just after my diagnosis, aged 34, a new carer arrived. ‘Let’s get you sorted, eh?’ she smiled, pulling on her rubber gloves to give me a wash. She was kind and professional but the minute she left, I burst into tears.