Pain seared through my stomach as the safety bar pushed down. But my relief that the metal barrier had managed to click into place over my size-22 frame was replaced with panic as I imagined the rollercoaster jolting from side to side at speed – the bar digging deeper and deeper into my flesh. As my friends chatted excitedly next to me, I called the ride attendant back. ‘I need to get off,’ I whispered. Hot tears pricked my eyes as I walked back past the queue, my head hanging in shame.
It was 2018 and, aged 34, I’d met my university friends at a theme park for a fun reunion. Only, I now realised it wasn’t going to be any fun for me. This was the second ride I’d been too fat for – on the first, the safety bar hadn’t even made it over my lap.
BIG APPETITE
Looking back, I should have been prepared for what happened, but my weight had crept up so slowly over the years, I hadn't really noticed. I've always had a big appetite and enjoyed food. My mum laughed that when I was little, I'd make loud noises of appreciation when she fed me. At school, I always finished my lunch because my mum taught me it was a sign of respect and I hated waste - so much so that I'd eat my friends' leftovers too!
My weight didn't bother me but as I got older the bullying started. I hid away to avoid the nasty comments. Food was my comfort; I'd sit at home eating to fill the social gaps. When I started university I weighed 17st. It was the first time I'd properly socialised and I had nothing to wear. Spending my student loan on clothes, I found the only outfits that fit my 5ft 5in, size-22 frame were dowdy and unfashionable. I felt awful next to my slim, glamorous friends and started making excuses not to go out. ‘I’m too tired,’ I’d lie.
Denne historien er fra March 20, 2023-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
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Denne historien er fra March 20, 2023-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on the gender gap, cats and timed hugs
Check out CHICAGO
With a spectacular skyline, sandy beaches and great food, the Windy City is calling, says Zoe West
LET'S EMBRACE OUR CHRISTMAS TAT!
Becky Dickinson explains why she'll still be rocking around her tinsel-strewn tree this year
BURIED SECRETS
We look at the shocking cases of celebrities posthumously accused of being sexual predators-and how they got away with it
FESTIVE NO-BAKES
Pop on the Christmas tunes and whip up a batch of these easy sweet treats
PROTECT YOUR SMILE
Are you doing enough to look after your teeth and gums?
'TIS THE SEASON TO SHINE!
At last, Hayley McCrossan, 39, feels fit and healthy
FOR THE LOVE OF TOM
When Deborah Mitchell, 57, lost her son, she vowed to help other families facing the same heartbreak
THE NURSE WHO LEFT MY GRANDAD FOR DEAD belict
Rachael Fealey, 31, had one question for the woman who killed her beloved Grampa - how could you?
Coleen's MONEY WORRIES
What are the reasons behind her financial and marriage fears?