When people first heard the news, they would ask one of two questions: how long were you together, and why did it end? The first answer was easy - 22 years. But the second was much, much harder. Because honest answers about long relationships can take a while.
We met at work, in the late 1990s. A basement office with hardly any light, and just two weeks to get to know each other before he moved away to start a new job. I had never dreamt of white weddings and finger food before, but I knew - as crazy as it may sound - that, one day, we would get married. And we did. Now that it is over, it's easy to forget those early days of nicknames and picnics and colleagues commenting on our never-ending public displays of affection. We were a pair of smug marrieds. And then, gradually, very gradually, we weren't.
Some relationships are broken by infidelity. Some by lies or abuse. Ours was more of a humdrum ending, quietly ground down by the day-to-day. We had moved abroad and back, lost three pregnancies, had a child. Renovated a home, nicely. But the drift had set in. And by the time we realised how bad it had become, it had run away from us completely. I had stopped appreciating him, and he barely noticed me at all. We had become two people united in our unhappiness, and after six months of counselling, agreed that our relationship had run its course. It felt like the biggest of failures - both for our 10-year-old daughter, and for the hopeful pair we once were. I was absolutely petrified about what my life would be like, newly single and nearing 50, but in the three years since our split, it has been gently transformed. Yes, it has been hard. The truth is, separation - whether you chose it or your ex chose it for you - can be stressful and lonely, and can change practically every aspect of your life. But it can also be the start of something very good, and completely unexpected.
Denne historien er fra March 2024-utgaven av Woman & Home UK.
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Denne historien er fra March 2024-utgaven av Woman & Home UK.
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15 Ways to Improve Your Memory - Make yours fault-proof with these easy lifestyle tricks
Hunting for your reading glasses only to realise they’re already on your head is frustrating, and we’ve all marched purposefully from one room to another – instantly forgetting why we’re there. Maybe you’re forever losing your keys or get embarrassed when you can’t remember people’s names? Memory lapse is common with age – decline can start from as early as 45 years*, while almost 40%** of people over 65 will notice some form of forgetfulness.
How Healthy is Your Gut? - This month, our fitness expert Annie Deadman on discovering what's really going on inside your body and how to keep it in the peak of condition
The microbiome will be host to both good and harmful bacteria, and the swing in favour of one or the other can influence whether or not you fall victim to conditions such as diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, coeliac disease and other inflammatory disorders or hormonal issues. These include polycystic ovary syndrome and high cholesterol, as well as what we might consider more common ailments like digestive issues, mood swings, constipation, migraines and general lethargy. The power that a healthy gut can wield over our wellbeing is enormous. And just like no two fingerprints are the same, no two microbiomes are the same.
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Comedian and podcaster Katherine Ryan, 41, lives in London with her three children and partner Bobby Kootstra+ Katherine Ryan's tour Battleaxe is coming to venues across the UK from September. Book now at livenation.co.uk
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A New Normal - The Princess of Wales is looking to the future, putting family first and ditching her to-do list
The Princess of Wales has always felt the pressure. Marrying into the most famous family in the world has been far from easy, but capable Catherine seemed to take it in her stride.Though the glamorous carapace, whether decked in Alexander McQueen or Zara, has hidden a more anxious young woman who didn't want to put a foot wrong. This past year has arguably been the toughest of Catherine's life - dealing with major abdominal surgery followed by a cancer diagnosis and treatment. But it has also given her the time to reprioritise and reassess what really matters.
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Freewheeling in TUSCANY
A cycling holiday through medieval cities and lush scenery is a great way to absorb culture and get off the beaten track
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Big on flavour and easy on the calories
