The waiter lights the candle and I gaze into the eyes of my dinner date: the bluegrey eyes with flecks of green that I've loved beyond measure for 16 years. At that moment, I think back to the first time we met, on a freezing cold January night. He arrived at almost midnight, ashen and silent, after a 48-hour labour that - fortunately - only one of us remembers. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. Which in his case it was.
I was terrified of losing him, back then. And now, 16 years later, I'm terrified I'm losing him again, this man-boy, with the square shoulders I hardly recognise and the throaty voice and the bristles above his top lip. It's often said about parenting that the days are long and the years are short. When my children were young, I so often craved a bit of me time - a haircut, a cup of tea that didn't go cold, an hour to myself. It never happened. And then, suddenly, it did. Baby Annabells were consigned to the orphanage of the loft, along with Lego and Julia Donaldson (I never could give those books away), replaced by a swirl of hormones and headphones. And now, as my son stomps towards adulthood, I wonder: when did all this happen? When did I take my eye off the game? I remember his first day at nursery: he cried so violently that they called me to collect him after just one hour. I strapped him into the Maxi-Cosi and drove home in a fog of exhaustion and exasperation, wondering how I'd ever get any work done, ever get back to anything resembling 'normal' again. But also, secretly, pleased that he needed me so badly; loved me as much as I loved him.
Denne historien er fra February 2023-utgaven av Woman & Home UK.
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Denne historien er fra February 2023-utgaven av Woman & Home UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
15 Ways to Improve Your Memory - Make yours fault-proof with these easy lifestyle tricks
Hunting for your reading glasses only to realise they’re already on your head is frustrating, and we’ve all marched purposefully from one room to another – instantly forgetting why we’re there. Maybe you’re forever losing your keys or get embarrassed when you can’t remember people’s names? Memory lapse is common with age – decline can start from as early as 45 years*, while almost 40%** of people over 65 will notice some form of forgetfulness.
How Healthy is Your Gut? - This month, our fitness expert Annie Deadman on discovering what's really going on inside your body and how to keep it in the peak of condition
The microbiome will be host to both good and harmful bacteria, and the swing in favour of one or the other can influence whether or not you fall victim to conditions such as diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, coeliac disease and other inflammatory disorders or hormonal issues. These include polycystic ovary syndrome and high cholesterol, as well as what we might consider more common ailments like digestive issues, mood swings, constipation, migraines and general lethargy. The power that a healthy gut can wield over our wellbeing is enormous. And just like no two fingerprints are the same, no two microbiomes are the same.
Cancer Was Just a Job Until it Happened to Me - Author, speaker and health content creator Dr Liz O'Riordan shares her journey from consultant breast surgeon to cancer patient
Working as a consultant breast surgeon, it was my responsibility to tell around 10 women a week that they had cancer. It was an emotionally intense job and could feel like you’re being paid to break women. As a clinician, you have to develop a sense of detachment, otherwise you’ll crumble, but this wasn’t always easy. Sometimes, particularly after seeing young women, I’d cry in the toilets. There’s no counselling and very little training for breaking bad news. It’s just part of the job – until it happens to you.
I Look Forward to Being a Very Elderly, Eccentric Woman' - Comedian and podcaster Katherine Ryan, 41, lives in London with her three children and partner Bobby Kootstra
Comedian and podcaster Katherine Ryan, 41, lives in London with her three children and partner Bobby Kootstra+ Katherine Ryan's tour Battleaxe is coming to venues across the UK from September. Book now at livenation.co.uk
'My Marriage is Definitely Not Over!' - As she approaches her 10th year on television, Nadiya Hussain opens up about racist threats to her life, her untapped dream of becoming a teacher and why rumours of marital demise are rubbish
Nadiya Hussain cover shoots bring sunshine – meteorologically and metaphorically. It’s a scorching June day in north London when we gather to celebrate the publication of her ninth cookbook, Cook Once, Eat Twice. As the title suggests, she’s helping the nation save time and pennies through meal-stretching recipes that savvily spin leftovers.And sweetly, it was the celebrity cook and author’s eldest son Musa’s plans to leave the family home in Milton Keynes to go off to university that inspired it.‘As soon as he started to talk about uni, I thought, “This will be the book that he’ll want to take with him to help him be more mindful of how he cooks, how he eats, how he saves, how to be frugal and how to use up leftovers – how to be smart in the kitchen,”’ explains Nadiya, 39, adding that the previous night her trusty sardine arrabbiata sparked an outpouring of gratitude from her firstborn.
A New Normal - The Princess of Wales is looking to the future, putting family first and ditching her to-do list
The Princess of Wales has always felt the pressure. Marrying into the most famous family in the world has been far from easy, but capable Catherine seemed to take it in her stride.Though the glamorous carapace, whether decked in Alexander McQueen or Zara, has hidden a more anxious young woman who didn't want to put a foot wrong. This past year has arguably been the toughest of Catherine's life - dealing with major abdominal surgery followed by a cancer diagnosis and treatment. But it has also given her the time to reprioritise and reassess what really matters.
'DON'T CALL ME A HERO'
Seeing the plight of innocent children in Gaza, Dr Ana Jeelani knew her medical skills could save lives – here’s what she experienced
Freewheeling in TUSCANY
A cycling holiday through medieval cities and lush scenery is a great way to absorb culture and get off the beaten track
Nostalgic BAKES
Unlock childhood memories with these fun sweet treats
Lighter DINNERS
Big on flavour and easy on the calories
