‘Every night I prayed I'd wake up as a girl'

Growing up transgender, Charlie Craggs, 28, became suicidal. Here she shares her journey to becoming the woman she always knew she was

- JOSIE COPSON

Swallowing down my first hormone pill with a glass of pink champagne, I felt a huge sense of elation and gratitude. At 23, I’d been on an emotional life-long journey to reach this celebratory milestone.

I was four years old when I first told my mum that I wished I was a girl, and every night I prayed I’d wake up as one. If there was a dress-up box I’d always reach for the girls’ outfits. I’d put tights on my head as I thought it was like having hair, I liked playing with dolls and all my friends were girls.

But it wasn’t until 10 years later, watching transgender reality star Nadia Almada win 2004’s Big Brother, that I realized who I was. Back then, unlike today, there were no other people in the media like her. Despite knowing what I could do to feel comfortable in my body – live as a woman – it took me a long time to accept it.

There’s a huge misconception that the decision to transition is made on a fun whim. But statistics show that only a very small percentage of transgender people regret their decision, despite numbers often being exaggerated in the media.

For me, transitioning from a man to a woman was the last resort. If there had been a pill to stop my deep-rooted feelings and urges to be a woman, I would have taken it.

Nobody chooses this life for themselves because it’s so hard. Everything becomes tougher – you can lose family, you may never find love, and you might believe your dream career is impossible. At my all-boys school, I was completely ostracised.