‘I went into hospital to have a baby – and came out with a colostomy bag'

When Gill Castle, 41, from Northumberland, suffered a horrific birth trauma, she thought her life was over. But what happened sent her in a new direction.

- KIM WILLIS

Placing a protective hand over my bump, I daydreamed about what it was going to be like to give birth. Pregnant with my first child, I smiled as I imagined the moment our newborn baby would be placed in my arms, my husband Chris and I gazing at him lovingly. I thought maternity leave would be full of coffee and cake, baby swimming and baby yoga classes.

Sam and I didn’t get to experience any of that. I went into labour six weeks early in October 2011. Sam was “back to back”, which meant I was in a lot of pain and was rushed for an epidural. “I’m frightened,” I said to a midwife as I was wheeled to the delivery room.

Sam was distressed and his heart rate was dropping, so forceps were used to get him out. It was a chaotic delivery and Sam needed to go straight into special care.

As the epidural wore off, I started shaking with shock. “You’ve had a bad tear,” a midwife explained. It extended from my vagina to my rectum, but I’d been stitched up and presumed I’d get better.

After a few days, I could not understand why I had faeces in my pants, or where it was coming from. I was in excruciating pain, but when doctors examined me they said the tear was healing.

I didn’t want to cause a fuss, but the pain got worse. A nurse tried to examine me but couldn’t get near me without me screaming. I had to be given gas and air so they could examine me.