‘WE COULDN'T SAVE AMY NO ONE COULD FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING'

AS THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY OF AMY WINEHOUSE ’S DEATH APPROACHES HER MUM JANIS CELEBRATES HER LIFE AND SETS THE RECORD STRAIGHT

- LUCY-CLARKE BILLINGS

On the day Amy died, the phone rang and my husband Richard took the call. His mum was seriously ill, so when he came to me and said “She’s Gone”, I thought he was talking about his mum. But then he said, “Your baby’s gone.” I was numb.

The hours that followed felt like a blur. Amy’s dad, Mitch, flew back from New York and we stood in the living room and hugged and cried. But the hard, cold reality only really hit when I went to identify the body. Amy looked like she was asleep in her bed. I wanted to say, “Amy, get up, it’s time to go to school.”

If I could describe being Amy’s mum in one word it would be “interesting”. She says it in her lyrics – “I was a flame”. My Amy was a firecracker. As a little girl, it was as though she was mishearing me, because whenever I said “don’t” she seemed to think I meant “do”. She was feisty, always spoke her mind, and always did what she wanted. She sang constantly and we were always telling her to shut up.

I was probably a bit of a pushover but I was a good mother – the mother I didn’t have and would have liked. My mum was self-involved and uninterested in what I was doing. I wanted to be there for my kids. And that’s what gave us such a close bond – Amy could always talk to me.