P For...Positivity

The skill to turn negative thoughts into positive ones needs to be shaped over time with strong willpower. Hereʼs how you can help your child grow up into a strong-willed adult.

- Prachi S. Vaish

“MOM, THIS is really tough, I won’t be able to do it,” said my son, his math notebook in front of him and tears welling up in his eyes. This was three years ago when he first started formal math education and was lost in the concepts of addition and subtraction. I felt helpless seeing him like that because I had gone through the same situation as a child. But it also struck me that if I transfer my fear to him, I might never be able to get him to like math. So I didn’t say something like, “Oh yeah, it’s really hard; I used to be so scared of it too!” Instead, I sat with him till his initial reaction passed. Then I told him I understood that it appeared hard and asked him what made it seem hard. He slowly articulated that he couldn’t see the calculations ‘in his head’. So, together we tried using coins, marbles, pencils, sharpeners and erasers to add and subtract and he gradually started understanding it. Later, when he faced the concepts of multiplication and division, he said, “Mom this is hard again. But maybe I could find a way to understand it!” With this, I knew that my son has found his willpower!

We all want our kids to grow up into positive, optimistic adults, and we keep encouraging them to ‘think positive’ when things get rough. But is it that simple? As adults we know how to redirect our thoughts. But it’s not so easy for kids. They aren’t experienced enough to distinguish between different thoughts, or envisage how these can affect their work. So, you need to ensure that they pick up the skills of thinking positive. Here’s what you can do.