Dancing on a Prayer
The Walrus|June 2021
Why a struggling strip club opened its doors to God
DREW NELLES
Dancing on a Prayer

AT THE MANOR Adult Entertainment Complex, the only strip club in Guelph, Ontario, you can feel the end coming. Some nights, the dancers outnumber the customers. The women perform pole dance moves with evocative names — the Genie, the Hot Cherry, the Boomerang, the Hello Boys, the Static Chopper — to thin, scattered applause. The top forty that blasts from the speakers becomes a soundtrack of almost unfathomable loneliness: “Nothing lasts forever / but wouldn’t it be nice to stay together for the night?” The ceiling is low and black, the lighting a gloomy throb of oranges and blues. There are no windows. Maybe you think strip clubs are fun; maybe you believe they’re degrading; maybe you see them as just another workplace. The Manor doesn’t feel like any of those things. Instead, the mood is mostly funereal.

Guelph, population 150,000, is a suburban university town about an hour’s drive from Toronto. I grew up here, and the Manor is a local landmark, a source of both notoriety and wry civic pride. The club, once a stately Queen Anne–style mansion, is stranded in a bleak expanse of parking lot, bordered by the slash of the highway, on one side, and a residential neighbourhood, on the other. Above the front door looms a giant, glowing M, gripped by a suggestively silhouetted woman in high heels. Ugly concrete additions extend around the old house like the reclining corpus of a sphinx; neo-Gothic towers erupt in congruously heavenward. Attached to the club is a complex of apartments called the Manor Motel, whose tenants tend to be precariously employed, receiving government assistance, or struggling with addiction.

This story is from the June 2021 edition of The Walrus.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the June 2021 edition of The Walrus.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM THE WALRUSView All
Dream Machines - The real threat with artificial intelligence is that we'll fall prey to its hype
The Walrus

Dream Machines - The real threat with artificial intelligence is that we'll fall prey to its hype

Some of the world's largest companies, including Microsoft, Meta, and Alphabet, are throwing their full weight behind AI. On top of the billions spent by big tech, funding for AI startups hit nearly $50 billion (US) in 2023.

time-read
10+ mins  |
July/August 2024
MY GUILTY PLEASURE
The Walrus

MY GUILTY PLEASURE

MY CHILDREN are grown, with their own partners, their own lives.

time-read
3 mins  |
September/October 2024
The Quest to Decode Vermeer's True Colours
The Walrus

The Quest to Decode Vermeer's True Colours

New techniques reveal hidden details in the Dutch master’s paintings

time-read
6 mins  |
September/October 2024
Repeat after Me
The Walrus

Repeat after Me

TikTok and Instagram are helping to bring Indigenous languages back from the brink

time-read
8 mins  |
September/October 2024
Smokehouse
The Walrus

Smokehouse

I WAS STANDING THERE at the corner, the corner where the smaller street intersects with the slightly wider one.

time-read
10+ mins  |
September/October 2024
How Could They Just Lose Him?
The Walrus

How Could They Just Lose Him?

The Huronia Regional Centre was supposed to be a safe home for people with disabilities. Then, amid suspicions of abuse at the facility, twenty-one-year-old Robin Windross vanished without a trace

time-read
10+ mins  |
September/October 2024
Prairie Radical
The Walrus

Prairie Radical

How conspiracy theorists splintered a small town

time-read
10+ mins  |
September/October 2024
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe
The Walrus

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe

Scott Moe rose quietly through the ranks. Now the Saskatchewan premier and his party are shaping policies with national consequences

time-read
10+ mins  |
September/October 2024
The Accommodation Problem
The Walrus

The Accommodation Problem

Extensions. Extra exam time. Online everything. Addressing the complex needs of students is creating chaos on campus

time-read
10+ mins  |
September/October 2024
MY GUILTY PLEASURE
The Walrus

MY GUILTY PLEASURE

I WAS AS SURPRISED as anyone when I became obsessed with comics again last year, at the advanced age of forty-five. As a kid, I loved reading G.I. Joe and The Amazing Spider-Man.

time-read
3 mins  |
July/August 2024