Let There Be Light

My little holiday village sat in darkness, spread out on the tree skirt

- Carla Faherty

Right before bed I switched off the lights to the Christmas tree. Honestly, I didn’t care if they were lit or not. Christmas was two days past. Hope? Joy? Without Gary, my younger brother, my heart was heavy.

I stared down at the tiny streetlights of my holiday village spread across the tree skirt. Still as dark as ever. Permanently broken, apparently. After weeks of messing with them I could hardly expect anything different. When Gary died it felt like part of me was extinguished as well.

He’d been my only sibling. My closest friend. A father figure to my kids, now grown. Such a great sense of humor. He had me in stitches anytime we were together. But it wasn’t only that I couldn’t see Gary anymore. I wanted to know for certain that he was okay, that he was with God. It was the not knowing that weighed on me.