AII the signs were out to get me. The capital letters and exclamation marks, in lurid eye-grabbing colours, on each billboard I passed felt threatening. Like the words themselves were about to jump out of the images and grab me. I would be suffocated by the loop of a Y, the soft circle of an O. I crouched down on the cold concrete curb, hiding between two parked cars. I was gasping for breath, terrified of the rush of panic suddenly pulsing through my body. I thought I would just sit there for a while, until I felt ‘safe’ again. Then, once I did, I would push through, and keep walking to my weekly therapy appointments—after all, I had to. I had been on a downward spiral for weeks. And now this. Surely all signs I needed therapy. Except...prior to that moment, I had never had a panic attack. I had always considered myself pretty ‘well’ when it comes to mental health. So why, I questioned later, once home and feeling back inside my body, was I putting myself through this? The answer: because I felt that it was my obligation. That if I gave up, I would have failed somehow. After all, everyone could benefit from therapy, right? Right...?
This story is from the July - August 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan India.
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This story is from the July - August 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan India.
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