When You Feel All Alone

At 27, Stefanie Costi came face-to-face with her greatest fear—feeling completely alone. Here’s how she pulled herself out of it...

I always believed feeling lonely was reserved for old people—not something a 27-year-old in the prime of her life would experience. I had a great job, a big fat Greek family, great friends and a boyfriend of almost two years who I adored. I couldn’t possibly be the lonely type, right?

It all started in February last year. My boyfriend, who I thought was The One, unexpectedly dumped me. I was a mess. I binged on too much junk food and every episode of The O.C. to try and cope up with my feelings. This wasn’t my first breakup, but there was something different about this one. The dark cloud lingered over me and wouldn’t lift. For 10 agonizing months, I was in this black hole with my feet dangling over the edge, unable to feel the ground beneath me. I was afraid people would see me as a failure, so when my friends texted, I ignored them—I didn’t want their pity. I stopped attending family gatherings out of fear that I would be asked about my ex. I embellished my weekend plans to colleagues so they would think I was a social butterfly. But the truth was, I felt completely alone—and the more evenings I spent by myself, the deeper I fell into this black hole, which saw me scrolling Instagram and comparing my solitude to the sunny poolside pictures my friends were posting.