Is “Single” A Dirty Word?

With #couplegoals all over social media and the topic of TRADITIONAL FAMILY expectations and property acquisition heavily associated with MARRIAGE, these SOCIETAL PRESSURES can certainly make you feel like being single is something to be ashamed of. This month, the ELLE Singapore team reflects on their relationship experiences and the VALUE OF SINGLEHOOD

- Jamie Lee

JENINE OH Single & Contented

I’ve been single for almost three years now and these have been some of the most liberating years of my life. Prior to this, I’d been in a few relationships and my longest (and most recent) one lasted 10 years. In my past relationships, I was always the nurturing one and instinctively took care of my other half.

My relationships always ended because of the same reason: We grew apart and found ourselves at different stages of our lives. I’m someone who has constantly sought progression in my professional and personal lives. It’s not so much of an ambition to always do better, but I don’t want to look back and regret the things I’ve not done. Likewise, in my relationships, I always thought about how we could move forward in our time together. Sometimes, however, you find yourself in a situation where it’s the right time but the wrong person or the wrong time but the right person. And this has taught me that you can be with someone but he may not be able to fill that void of emptiness in you.

I was with my partner for slightly over a decade and we were very comfortable with each other. So it was natural for us to think of moving to the next stage — in this case, marriage. However, we were growing at different paces and things got stagnant, and we no longer found ourselves on the same path. It took me a long time to decide that we needed to end things, but when I made that decision, I finally felt… at peace.

At that time, I was almost 30 and it was my first time being single since I was 19. I took the change positively and told myself that I needed to be happy alone and grow into myself.