How Often Should A Happy Couple Have Sex?

Stop chasing the mythical sex quota.

- Sophia Benoit

Apparently, other than everyone else’s neighbour, people are having less sex than previous generations. Blame birth control access or limitless free porn for the decline – who can say for sure? Whatever the reason, we’re having sex less. Initially, this seemed concerning to me, but as it turns out, it might not be such a big deal.

To be sure, not having any sex or experiencing a sharp decline could be a sure sign of an unhappy relationship. But according to some recent science, your friend who brags about having a quickie every morning probably isn’t any happier than you.

Much like washing your hair, you don’t need to have sex as often as you think – at least according to a 2015 study, which suggests any amount over once a week is simply overkill, especially if you’re not feeling it. That may seem obvious, but there’s a persistent belief out there that quantity correlates with happiness. Most long-term partners are doing it about once a week anyway; the average married couple has sex 51 times a year. And not only are married couples generally still out-sexing singles, but it turns out that not-strictly-sexual acts of affection, like hand-holding or kissing, were actually better predictors of being “intensely” in love with your long-term partner than sexual frequency.