Is Tech Leading To More Emotional Affairs?

It’s easier than ever to connect, but we say: be careful.

- Sara Benincasa

He was married. I was single. We had an affair – and we never even kissed. When I started talking to Adrian*, I was getting over a five-month bout of bronchitis that often had me wheezing and crying. I lived alone and worked from my flat. Too tired to cook, I relied on fast food, and I drank, even though I knew I shouldn’t while taking medication. I was lonely as hell and just wanted to feel less conscious. It was no surprise that my mental health had taken a nose dive – I have a history of depression. When I go to therapy, take medication, exercise, eat healthy and sleep enough, I do very well. But being sick made it easy to neglect that recipe for health.

A few months into my illness, I watched a video on his Instagram. He was an artist I knew of through mutual friends, and we followed each other, but we’d never met. He was cute and seemed smart. For the fun of it, I sent him a private message: “That video cracked me up in the middle of a long workday.” He responded right away: “Hey, thanks! You live out here now, right?” We chatted about our respective work projects and how odd it was that we’d never met. The messaging continued for the next few days. Early on, he mentioned his wife and kids. I felt a little disappointed, but I quickly switched into friend mode – of course he was married; he was so great! He told me a little about her, and she sounded impressive. She’s a talented businesswoman, and he did the bulk of the childcare. He didn’t bring his family up again, at least not for a while.