From This Day Forward

Harper’s BAZAAR UK editor-in-chief Justine Picardie reflects on the emotional significance of her wedding dresses.

- Justine Picardie

WHEN MY FIRST MARRIAGE ENDED, amid a sea of tears and dark nights of heartbreak, I put away all visible reminders of our wedding day: gold ring, silver-framed pictures and the white linen dress that I had worn on a May morning, long ago, full of hope, with a circle of roses in my hair that had been made for me by my sister.

Sixteen years after that wedding day, I could not imagine ever falling in love again: instead, I devoted myself to my two beloved sons, was comforted by the kindness of close friends and became immersed in the research for the book I was writing at the time (a biography of Coco Chanel). Never again, I vowed, would I risk the pain of an unhappy divorce. But as everyone understands who has experienced the unexpected joys of discovering true love the second time around, I found that my bruised heart was healing, and my optimism restored. For to choose to marry again is an act of faith: a leap into the unknown, propelled by the belief that love may still prevail and endure.

Nearly two decades separated my first and second wedding days, and they could not have been more different. The first was held at a London register office; I was accompanied by my sister, Ruth, as witness, bridesmaid, best woman and my closest friend. My three year-old son, Jamie, was also at the ceremony, watching his parents become husband and wife, and then he came with us to the party afterwards; and his excitement and laughter was one of my abiding memories of the day.