More Sex, Better Sex

Are you getting the sex you deserve? Find out by asking yourself these 16 key questions.

- Adam Rouch

DO YOU TALK TO ONE ANOTHER?

If you’re married or in a committed relationship, you’re probably having sex two or three times a week. is that enough? of course not! if you asked your man, he’d probably say he wants it every day. so tell him the secret to getting more sex: he needs to talk more! in a university of new Orleans study, nearly 70 per cent of men reported that when they initiate sex, they overestimate their partners' desire to get it on, most likely because they think women are like gas grills: Flick a switch and they get hot.

Encourage your man to talk to you – about work, family, the news, anything. talk is the greatest aphrodisiac for a woman because it establishes a bond of sharing that she equates with romance. to him, it's just conversation. But to you, it's intimacy.

ARE YOU STRESSING ENOUGH?

You'd think stress would be as deflating to a sex life as a litter of puppies in the bedroom. But a stressful job (or even a dangerous one) involving some level of competition, as in law, sales or politics, can actually improve it. ‘real competition can drive up testosterone, which boosts libido,’ says Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We love. ‘Being amped up by a high-powered, highstress job is more likely to make you more sexually active’ than idling in a cushy, low-key career. But if the job doesn’t get his engine running, there’s always competitive sport. Men who ‘get game’ increase testosterone levels by 15 per cent, according to a Pennsylvania state university study. even better, become his steady doubles partner! the same study showed that women increased their libido-regulating testosterone by 49 per cent during competition.

ARE YOU WILLING TO PLAY?