HOW do you stop a squirrel digging up your lawn? Take away his spade: ba-dum cha! Alan Gardner, the star of C4’s popular series The Autistic Gardener, told me this gag – so you can blame him if tumbleweed is stuck to your chaise longue.
I had asked Alan about stopping squirrel damage as part of an SOS on social media – not for jokes, but to help my friend Ed, whose lawn has got more craters than Mars.
The damage has been done by a single squirrel that climbs down the fence to stash nuts plundered from Ed’s hazel tree. What makes the problem so bad is the double whammy of a beast with an unusually strong hoarding instinct and a bumper harvest of filberts. But ask Twitter a question, silly or not, and you will get lots of silly answers – and most of my replies were versions of Alan’s joke, including (just so you know): take away his hand-trowel/ pneumatic drill/JCB.
This story is from the September 26, 2020 edition of Amateur Gardening.
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This story is from the September 26, 2020 edition of Amateur Gardening.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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