Selfie Indulgence

Ending the ego-driven outing

- Mike Ferrentino

“HOLD UP! I GOTTA HIT THAT ONE AGAIN. Here—take my phone, kneel down over there and get a shot of me right as I hit the apex of the turn!”

“No dude. Not again. This is the fifth impromptu photo shoot you’ve pulled today, it has taken us over three hours to do a ride either of us could usually knock out in an hour-and-a-half. I promised I would be home an hour ago and the kids have probably set the house on fire, and your phone is all sweaty.”

“Oh come onnnnn! Just this last one, it’s gonna look so sweet!”

I squinted up into the midday sun blazing through patchy canopy, then back at the absolutely unremarkable corner rendered in sharply contrasting strips of light and shadow, considered the thicket of poison oak I was being asked to stand in, deduced that the photo was going to look anything but sweet, and realized that this is just how it goes when you decide to ride with teenagers. They can’t seem to stop taking pictures of themselves, or having other people take pictures of them. It’s just how it is these days. Kids, what are ya gonna do, right?