Fairy tales have always given us the illusion of perfection in relationships but as much as those happily-ever-afters made us smile, no relationship, in reality, is perfect and achieving a happy ending is not as easy as a script. Every relationship requires respect, understanding, compromising, and yes that crazy thing called love. Whether you know your partner for a week, a year or a decade, red flags may present itself at any time in a relationship. Seeing them sooner is definitely better than later, especially in mellowing the severity of heartbreak if it comes to an end, but when do we say enough is enough, or ‘this is not the package I signed up for’ and claim a rebate on that ticket to a possible “I do”?
According to Professor Srini Pillay of Harvard Medical School, perfection is a state of mind and what may seem acceptable for one may not be for another. Similarly also in relationships, what is disturbing to one might not be for another. However, there are several traits that should generally ring the alarm. Here are a few distressing ones that should push you to seriously consider questioning – how far do you want the relationship to go or how long before you call it quits?
THE TRUTH MAY HURT FOR A LITTLE WHILE, BUT A LIE WILL HURT FOREVER
No one likes a liar, white lies or otherwise. If your partner finds it difficult to be honest with you, you are most likely going to always be in doubt and suspicious about what is being told to you. If you have discovered truth and your partner blatantly denies it, then you need to ask yourself further – what is your role in this relationship? What does your partner regard you as? According to Dr Abigail Brenner, an American psychiatrist, a person who doesn’t hold his or her words accountable, lacks integrity and lacks respect for their partner. If someone truly loves and cares, respecting you should come as second nature and not lying to you is the greatest form of respect. Lying can lace many other bad attributes such as cheating and stealing. It is a destructive nature if not nipped early.
DON’T LET JEALOUSY FOOL YOU. IT IS JUST ANOTHER NAME FOR INSECURITY
This story is from the May 2019 edition of Health Today Malaysia.
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This story is from the May 2019 edition of Health Today Malaysia.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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