Megan (30) hasn’t made a new friend since varsity. “Now that I’ve moved across the country, it’s back to the start,” she told me after we matched on Hey Vina!, a friendship app for women. While it may seem ironic (or ridiculously millennial) to seek pals via our phones, we need all the help we can get: the average adult hasn’t added to their circle in five years, a new study found.
Why the epidemic? As soon as you leave school, “you lose that naturally occurring community… Except for your workplace,” says clinical psychologist Dr Andrea Bonior, author of The Friendship Fix. “And let’s face it, not everyone wants to hang with their colleagues.” Think about it: you grew up surrounded by peers, so you’ve never had to go out and pursue potential friends. Now that you’re older and in need of a new tribe, “you don’t know how to do it,” says Bonior. Or even if you’re crazy outgoing, you have other obligations – your career, family, hobbies – sucking up time, so forming fresh bonds isn’t a priority. It’s a shame, given that a slew of research shows that the quality of your social ties has a huge impact on your happiness and health.
Being one of those workaholic, live-in girlfriends myself, I’ve shopped for friends on an app twice and my life has changed for the better. So, don’t be like the average woman out there – go make new buds, now. Here’s how:
1 Take stock of your current squad
This story is from the March 2020 edition of Women's Health South Africa.
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This story is from the March 2020 edition of Women's Health South Africa.
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