KYIV: UNDER SIEGE

What is it like to live in a war zone, to be in constant fear for your life and your loved ones as your city is decimated before your eyes? Attitude meets three Ukrainians who remain in Kyiv, resolute in their determination to support their country in the face of the Russian invasion: artist Daniel Skripnik, Kyiv Pride director Lenny Emson, and Firebird actor and straight ally Oleg Zagorodnii*

- Tomasz Lesniara

Sometimes I feel empty. When you have this amount of pressure and anxiety, you just lose your mental system within yourself," 23-year-old gay artist Daniel Skripnik says as we chat over Zoom on a hot Monday afternoon. The contrast between our circumstances is stark. While Daniel is in his flat in Kyiv, which has been shelled and bombed by Russian soldiers for weeks now, I'm in my parents' house in the south of Poland, surrounded by family photos and a half-finished bottle of wine from my mother's cabinet.

Just a few months ago, Daniel, a popular and respected painter, was creating artworks of Britney Spears that were appreciated and reposted by the pop queen herself, as she fought to escape the conservatorship put in place by her father. Now Daniel has his own battle to fight: for his country and his freedom.

He is trying to stay strong. "I need to explain to you at the beginning that I will sometimes check my window," he warns me. "That's because I'm afraid of seeing something bad, so I need to keep looking and keep everything under control." I can't begin to imagine this feeling. He goes on to tell me about the reality of living in a war zone. "We can hear explosions more or less once, twice per hour," he says.

As I ask Daniel if he is able to sleep, I overhear Ukrainian mothers walking with their children outside my window. "I can sleep for 15 minutes at a time and then wake up as I hear the sirens," he replies. "In general, I'd say I sleep three hours in total."

One of the most uncomfortable things I have learned from speaking to Ukrainians while researching this article is how terrifying even the slightest sound is when your city is being destroyed. Every footstep, a cat jumping off the top of the wardrobe or even a cough can trigger a devastating sense of anxiety.