These questions are so effective because they utilize all 5 elements of the leverage model. Here is how they work:
1. Do you love me?
Most relationship conflict happens entirely on the lowest level of disagreement; that is to battle about the things you are least likely to ever agree about.
Resolving conflict from this level is impossible. You are positioned as enemies on opposing teams and therefore must fight to the death. There can only be one winner.
However, if you take a breath and begin with the highest common agreement instead, this instantly positions you on the same team and allows you to negotiate as friends helping each other achieve the best outcome. Peace becomes possible only through discovering that at the highest level, both sides want exactly the same thing.
Question 1 is aimed at helping people at war move to this high-level agreement as quickly as possible before things descend into chaos. What is the most important thing that we totally agree about?
'Do you love me?'
'Yeah of course. Do you love me?'
'I do. You know I do!'
'Well then, what the heck are we doing to each other?'
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 2022-Ausgabe von Q Magazine.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 2022-Ausgabe von Q Magazine.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
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