These questions are so effective because they utilize all 5 elements of the leverage model. Here is how they work:
1. Do you love me?
Most relationship conflict happens entirely on the lowest level of disagreement; that is to battle about the things you are least likely to ever agree about.
Resolving conflict from this level is impossible. You are positioned as enemies on opposing teams and therefore must fight to the death. There can only be one winner.
However, if you take a breath and begin with the highest common agreement instead, this instantly positions you on the same team and allows you to negotiate as friends helping each other achieve the best outcome. Peace becomes possible only through discovering that at the highest level, both sides want exactly the same thing.
Question 1 is aimed at helping people at war move to this high-level agreement as quickly as possible before things descend into chaos. What is the most important thing that we totally agree about?
'Do you love me?'
'Yeah of course. Do you love me?'
'I do. You know I do!'
'Well then, what the heck are we doing to each other?'
This story is from the May 2022 edition of Q Magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the May 2022 edition of Q Magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
q health: VIGILANCE IS THE KEY
Australians urged to increase sexual health vigilance as LGBTQIA+ community sets example
q musical: THEY'RE THERE FOR YOU
YOUR FRIENDS ARRIVE IN MELBOURNE THIS WEEK The hilarious New York and Las Vegas hit Friends! The Musical Parody arrives in Melbourne this week for the final leg of its Australian tour, playing at the Athenaeum Theatre from 23 November to 17 December.
q life: with GABRIEL TABASCO
The Big Dick Contest Part four
q feature: BIG FAT GAY ASS TOM GOSS
Tom Goss Rings in the Holidays with New EP \"Big Fat Gay Ass Christmas\" A Rollicking Collection of Original Songs that Celebrate Living Joyfully, Exuberantly, and Authentically Queer
BIG & BEAUTIFUL J.R. PRICE
J.R. Price Releases Nightmare The Follow-up to His Daydream EP, Nightmare includes “Tiny,” His Hit New Single and Music Video
THE WAY DISNEY DOES IT
The magic has arrived.shopDisney.com.au
DRAG EXPO MELBOURNE
“Halleloo”… DragExpo - The nation’s foremost celebration of everything drag, beauty, kitsch and pop culture is here!
CAREER ADVICE FOR ALL
8 ways to supercharge your career
BROOKIES DOES IT AGAIN
The Temptation is Clear, Slow Passion Limited Release is Back!
ADVICE ON TAX TIPS
5 ways to maximise your tax return this year