The Tale Of A Grieving Heart

Through a series of meticulously embroidered self-portraits, Yukimi Akiba sheds light on complex themes of sexuality, mental health, societal pressure and gender biases.

- Yukimi Akiba

Sometimes, words are not enough to express inner turmoil. I began to look for ways to articulate my feelings following my diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. In 2018, almost four years after I became aware of my condition, a friend gifted me an Instax camera on Christmas day. Since I can’t dance, make music or draw, but most photography is instant, it became the only means to express my anguish. Being alone and working without any external interference was important to understand and cope with my situation.

One day, out of sheer boredom, I decided to use embroidery on my self-portraits, with the intention of completely destroying them. While I felt guilty, the mere act of piercing the photograph was liberating. It was the genesis of my series Creative ‘Self’ Destruction.

My Assignment

Description To reimage myself by creatively destroying my self-portraits.

Duration April 2019 to February 2021.

Notes I wanted to come to terms with everything that caused me pain and suffering. By adding incomprehensible elements, I wanted to turn the images into something that looks good on the outside.

My Equipment

I used the Fujifilm Instax Mini 90 Neo Classic camera, a Polaroid OneStep+ i-Type instant camera, a Vanguard VT-123 tripod and a small flashlight with coloured cellophane.