5 Words That Could Be Holding You Back

Banish these from your vocab, stat!  

- Haley Kadrou

Words are a powerful tool. And choosing the right ones can make all the difference in how your message is received.

Dorenda McNeil, Communication Expert and author of Virtually Perfect Business Etiquette: Workplace Tips For The Digital Generation explains: “Women are strong communicators in lots of areas, but often still come across as trying too hard to accommodate people, thereby appearing less confident in their requests and ideas.”

If you notice that these five words are flooding your e-mails and daily dialogues, then it’s time to reconsider how you communicate at work. The simplest changes will make all the difference. Guaranteed.

1. Just 

‘I just wanted to ask’; ‘I’m just the assistant’; ‘It was just a little report’. Sound familiar? Disguised as a polite cushioning word, ‘just’ is actually very loaded. As mindset mentor and author of Lucky B*tch: A Guide For Exceptional Women To Create Outrageous Success Denise Duffield-Thomas puts it: “‘Just’ is the ultimate minimiser. That one little word immediately shrinks your importance.” Ouch!

Think about how you use it. Probably to soften a request, deflect compliments, apologise or seek permission, right? It’s weak, and characteristically overused by us women. So just quit saying it, okay?

Most of the time—in e-mails, for example—you’ll realise you can simply edit it out. Bam. Gone. Bye! Directly stating, ‘I’m e-mailing to ask’, or ‘Could you please’, is assertive, polite, and cuts the fat.

If this super-direct form makes you squirm, you can still communicate confidently and hold on to your pleasantries. Keep the point of your message stern, and case the edges with a classic, ‘I hope you are well’, or ‘Have a great day’.

2. Try