I’d always played things safe. Until I hit my fifties
Three hundred pairs of eyes watched me expectantly. I stood in the sanctuary next to the piano, trying not to hyperventilate. I was about to lead the congregation in singing a Psalm.
No one was forcing me to do this. And was it really such a big deal, singing in front of people I’d gone to church with for years?
For me it was. I’d been terrified of singing in public for as long as I could remember. I was fine mumbling hymns in the anonymity of the pews or hiding in the adult choir. But singing solo in front of a large group seemed like asking for humiliation.
So why had I volunteered to lead the Psalm this Sunday morning? Why had I spent months working with a voice coach to prepare for just this moment?
Well, I’d done a lot of things recently that once intimidated me. Like learning to swim when I was 58 and completing multiple triathlons. I was also writing my first book.
There was a reason I kept facing this fear. His name was Jack. As I stood before the congregation, he was at home with his mom and dad. He was almost two years old. My grandson. And he’d inspired a big change in my life.
I was not raised to be a risk-taker. I grew up in a traditional family. Church every Sunday. Best behavior at the dinner table. Don’t step out of line. Don’t be different.
That was my dad’s approach to life. He was just six years old when his own father died. The loss deprived him of the confidence a father can help instill in his children. After high school, he attended seminary for several years. Then he got a job selling appliances on commission at a Sears store. He kept that job for 22 years.
This story is from the September 2017 edition of Guideposts.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the September 2017 edition of Guideposts.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
What prayer can do
POWER IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVES
Rejoice in All Things
My husband and I had an annual tradition of celebrating the high points of the year. This time, he wanted to try something different
Special Delivery
A month after my wife died and my life felt so empty, the only thing I had to look forward to was Amazon
A Prayer for Cullen
Even in a family crisis, I had trouble quieting my mind enough to listen for God
Blackie & Rosebud
What would happen to my friend's cats now that she was gone?
The Kids Are Alright
My twin boys and I had always been close. I thought they needed me. Now I wasn't so sure
Kindred Spirits
I thought the nose ring gave it away—she was just another teenager. I couldn't imagine how she could help me
A Boy Named Sue
In 1969, Johnny Cash and his wife, June, threw a party at their house in Hendersonville, Tennessee, a “guitar pull,” where guests passed around a guitar and tried out new songs.
Active Duty
I'd tried everything for my knee - physical therapy, gel injections, a cumbersome brace. Everything except prayer
Living an Abundant Life
A conversation with spirituality and health researcher Harold G. Koenig, M.D., on what makes people truly happy