Free Meat!

Meat. It is the desire of mankind and womankind to eat meat. Restaurant menus are based upon meat. No one orders a vegetable medley with a side of ribeye. Meals are about the meat. In Tennessee, “barbeque” is not a verb; it is a noun, and it means “meat” in various stages of charred goodness.

- Jeff Quinn

The other stuff is optional. Salad is just a practice food to give you something to do while waiting for the steak. Even vegans desire to eat meat (regardless of the lies they will tell you). That is why upscale vegan shops sell texturized soy-fiber masses called Shamburgers, Not-Dogs and Facon.

Meat is expensive, and that is why every fall, as a chill begins to fill the air, hunters take to the woods and fields in pursuit of free meat.

There are basically two types of hunters: those who grewup hunting as a family bonding ritual and those who are new to the hunting scene and have developed an interest after learning about the possibility of free meat. The typical new hunter of adult age comes to the world of hunting with a practical purpose in mind: the sense of responsibility to feed one’s family.

These days, feeding a family is an expensive investment. One can go to the local supermarket, drop $100 and easily carry the grub home with one hand.

Bringing home free meat sounds to the new would-be hunter like an excellent way to save money. Naturally, he wants in on this free-meat deal and decides hunting would be the responsible thing for any family man to do. So, he eagerly researches what he must do to get this free meat.

FIRST THINGS FIRST