The Right To Swipe

Meeting the right guy has changed with dating apps, although some say the addictive nature of swiping left in search of someone “better” leaves no-one happy. But never settle for second best.

- Sharon Lim

Singapore is really, really small, a fact I once again confirmed one evening, as I idly swiped through Tinder while getting ready for a dinner party. A familiar looking guy popped up and Tinder was telling me he was “0 km” from me—what?! And then it hit me: OMFG, it was my neighbour from two doors down! I quickly swiped left. Needless to say, it got a little #awkward for a while whenever we ran into each other outside our flats.

So yes, Singapore is small. But Tinder has made the world that much smaller since it launched in 2012. It was the first of the location-based “swiping” dating apps that now includes Bumble, Happen and Coffee Meets Bagel, and changed the way “traditional” dating websites work on mobiles. OkCupid’s “Browse Matches” function, for example, is based on that by-now-familiar swiping algorithm.

But has the dating pool correspondingly expanded? I’d say a qualified yes. I’ve swiped right on and matched with guys in Singapore, across the Causeway and all over the world, some of whom I would totally date if we were in the same city. But since we’re several time zones apart, they’ve been inevitably friend zoned, if either party hasn’t ghosted first. That said, J., a guy I matched with on Tinder, has set himself a daily chat challenge that he has managed to keep going since we matched in September last year. We met, sparks flew, but he’s not based here. He has plans to relocate here in the next few months, but in the meantime we’re managing the time difference by making an effort to stay connected daily. It’s cute when I’m caught up with work and I get a message from him at 1pm his time: “???? Have you forgotten about me?”