The Little Lies We Tell, The Secrets We Hide... From Him

’Fess up. We all do it. The little fibs we tell him, the secrets we guard. Take comfort. Experts say getting a little creative with the truth sometimes is permissible – but you must always know where to draw the line.

- Clara How

You might say Ellen* has become really good at lying. Nothing major, just what she calls everyday fibbing. The kind where you tell your friend you love the birthday present she gave you (eww, no), that she looks great in those jeans (she doesn’t), and you tell your boss you have an upset tummy – which we all know is code speak for “overslept”.

So why should it be any different when it comes to her significant other? In truth, Ellen just wants to keep the peace. She’s usually an open book in her marriage – except when it comes to meeting up with a couple of close male friends whom her husband isn’t a fan of.

“Of course I feel guilty,” Ellen admits. “But I would be disappointed in myself if I gave in to everything he says.” Fiercely independent, Ellen relishes the freedom to choose her own friends and is unwilling to sacrifice an important aspect of who she is. “I’m optimistic that over time, his insecurities will fade and the issue will resolve itself.”

Charlotte* buys whatever she wants with her money and doesn’t always tell her husband about it. But there’s always a little bit of guilt. “I don’t tell him when I purchase big ticket items,” she confesses. “Even though it’s my own money, I feel that because he’s my husband, I am obliged to tell him what I’m spending on.” It’s a toss-up between wanting to take ownership of her life and being accountable to the guy she promised to spend it with.

Angeline* has never disclosed exactly how much she earns to her partner of more than 10 years. “Keeping my money private is a safety net I need in case he leaves me or something unfortunate happens,” she says. “And it’s mutual – he doesn’t share how much he earns, either. We’re both comfortable that way.”