Time To Speak Out

Voicing our opinions doesn’t always come easily: But with your career and relationships at stake, it definitely pays to be upfront

- Lisa Twang

Ever had the nagging feeling that you should be standing up for yourself, but instead of opening your mouth, you ignore your instincts? Turns out keeping mum when you need to express your feelings honestly can be detrimental to your work, health, and social life.

“When I had young children, my mother had a habit of calling at precisely the worst time of the day – dinner time. Instead of telling her from the start that this was my tear-my-hair-out moment, and could she call back later, I took her calls. A pattern formed of her ringing at this set time of the day,” says writer Tammy Cohen.

“I wish I could turn back the clock and pick up the phone that first or second time and say, ‘Mum, I’d love to talk, but can we arrange a time when I’m not so frantic?’ How hard would that have been? But instead of speaking up, I resented her for calling, and set a negative tone that coloured our relationship for a disproportionately long time.”

Saying exactly what we mean isn’t something most of us are trained to do. From childhood, we’re taught the art of people-pleasing – saying yes even if we mean no, holding back from saying anything that might offend and toning down forthrightness in case it comes across as being inconsiderate or arrogant.

But there are some very good reasons for trying to unlearn those early lessons now, and not holding off from speaking your mind. Learning to speak up will help you immensely, not just in your personal relationships, but also in your career. Here, Dr Susan Newman shares seven reasons why finding your voice and standing up for yourself will help things work out better for you in the long run.

YOU’LL AVOID REGRETS