What To Do When Love Hurts

There are many factors that can cause painful sex, and many reasons women stay quiet about it. But it’s a condition that can be treated – and should be spoken about. Here’s what you need to know.

- Seah Pei Jun

Nearly three out of four women will experience painful intercourse at some time, yet many, even normally confident women, find it hard to talk about. The problem can be temporary; but studies have shown that up to a third of women will have persistent problems.

The medical term for pain before, during or after vaginal intercourse is dyspareunia. According to women’s health organisation Jean Hailes, it affects women of all ages. It is common in menopausal and postmenopausal women due to hormonal changes leading to vaginal dryness and decreased elasticity. Left unmanaged, it can lead to loss of sexual interest, mood changes and relationship issues. Management starts with acknowledging the problem. Gynaecologist Dr Elizabeth Farrell, a founder and medical director of Jean Hailes, says, “There is help available. See your doctor and talk about it.” If you don’t feel comfortable discussing it with your doctor, try a different one, or a community.

WHAT CAUSES IT?

There are two types of dyspareunia. The first is superficial, which is pain on attempted penetration. Causes include infections, vaginismus (spasm of the pelvic floor muscles), and size disparity (where the erect penis is too big for the vaginal entrance).

The second is deep dyspareunia, which is pain at the top of the vagina, often experienced with thrusting. Causes include pelvic diseases such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts and pelvic inflammatory disease.

Dyspareunia can also be attributed to physiological concerns. Dr Ann Tan, Specialist Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, Women Fertility & Fetal Centre, shares that the vulva and vaginal skin become thinner and drier, hence less stretchable and less lubricated.