Our Journey To Be A Family Why We Did It This Way

Changes in science and society mean women can start families in a lot of different ways – we meet the new modern moms

- Anna Moore

Today’s families are more diverse than ever. Sperm, embryo and egg donation; surrogacy and adoption mean you can have a child as a solo parent or a same-sex couple. Model Chrissy Teigen and her husband John Legend had their two children through IVF. Sarah Jessica Parker, Elizabeth Banks and Giuliana Rancic had kids via surrogacy, and Janet Jackson had her firstborn at 50! We talk to moms who’ve formed families in ways we could not have imagined a few generations ago.

‘WHAT SCARED ME WAS THE THOUGHT OF NEVER BEING A MOTHER’

Insurance broker NICOLA MOLE, 43, began fertility treatment with her husband, but when their marriage broke down, she carried on alone. In January 2018, she became a mom to Rebecca using a donor embryo.

“I married at 29 after a whirlwind romance, and we started trying for a baby straight away. It was absolutely what I’d always wanted. I’m very close to my mom – we have a strong bond, and that’s what Iwanted with my own child.

When nothing happened after a year of trying, we went through all the stages, starting with diet, supplements, acupuncture, then three cycles of AI (the direct insemination of sperm into the uterus), which didn’t work. Then I was diagnosed with endometriosis, which was surgically removed. Three cycles of IVF followed.

After seven years, our marriage broke down. There were lots of reasons – he was very traditional and expected me to be at home cooking dinner. If I’m honest, my wish for a baby put pressure on us, too. My husband already had a child and it was always me pushing forward with treatment. He wasn’t really behind it.