Arise Sir Jimmy! It Certainly Has A Nice Ring To It

Arise Sir Jimmy! It Certainly Has A Nice Ring To It

As all bowlers have known since time immemorial, cricket is a batsman’s game. Why else would it be the case that, of the ten England players knighted for services to the sport (officially at least, Sir Ian Botham received his tap on the shoulders for services to charity) only one was a specialist bowler?

Long before Alec Bedser bent the knee in 1996, while he was still carrying the weight of the Test attack to Australia on his broad shoulders 40 years earlier, the great Surrey paceman and later chairman of selectors remarked pointedly that the last to be knighted was Francis Drake.

If, after crashing through the 500 barrier to reach 506 at Lord’s last week at the end of his glorious summer of 39 wickets in seven Tests, the next to be so honoured is not James Anderson, we may as well all take up bowls.

Buckingham Palace would be well advised to wait until Anderson finally stops playing for his country before getting in touch, in about 2050, because we don’t want to give those beastly Australians any more fuel for their foul sledgery.

Remember how Shane Warne feasted himself on the chance to needle Paul Collingwood on the grim 2006/07 tour Down Under?

The Durham man’s only crime was to be included on the list of England players awarded MBEs for winning the 2005 Ashes (skipper Michael Vaughan was given an OBE) even though his contribution to their triumph, as replacement for the injured Simon Jones was 17 runs in two knocks, one catch and four overs for 17 with nothing recorded in the wickets column.

“What’s that MBE stand for, mate?” asked Warne the next time he bowled at Collingwood, “Must Be Embarrassing?” No, we don’t want any of that unpleasantness, thanks.