Chances are you’ve come across this Marianne Williamson quote: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us.’ I used to vacillate between rolling my eyes and scratching my head when I heard it. It sounded profound and meaningful, but also made no sense to me. She didn’t explain why we’d be afraid of ‘being powerful beyond measure. That sounded pretty great to me. Why would anyone be afraid of it? So I dismissed it.
Until that is, I encountered the work of Dr Valerie Rein.
And then I understood.
I understood how it could be that we – women, specifically – could be terrified of our power. So terrified we hide it almost at any cost… without even realising we’re doing it. Welcome to a patriarchy stress disorder, or PSD.
Through her extensive work with women as a psychologist and life coach, Dr Rein has uncovered that most of us go through life with our subconscious signaling‘ unsafe!’ when we choose to pursue wealth, pleasure, power, relaxation, fulfillment and independence. But why would we do that?
Because of patriarchy, Dr Rein says – but not patriarchy as we know it today. While we can all agree there’s still room for improvement (such as addressing gender-based violence, institutionalized discrimination, objectification and the pay gap), women today have the same rights as men in that we can own property, hold down a job, and have our own bank accounts and money. And we can vote. We have gone through some radical liberations in a relatively short time.
Denne historien er fra May/June 2021-utgaven av Fairlady.
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Denne historien er fra May/June 2021-utgaven av Fairlady.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.
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THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
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TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
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PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.
BIG SKY Country
Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.
How to write a memoir
Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.