I can’t actually remember what happened. Even now when I read in my journal about that session, I wrote, “I don’t know what was happening, it’s like I was watching a movie.” Yet I felt shifts take place that no amount of talking could ever resolve.’
Roxanne, who is 33, experienced her first family constellation therapy session when a friend of hers, training to become a facilitator, suggested she try it. ‘At first I participated in a supporting role, but then I decided to constellate my relationship with my mother, a relationship I feel was estranged since the day I was born. I didn’t mention it to my mother, and I can’t recall how long after the constellation I could see or feel a change – I kind of just let life happen as it does. But small things changed. I felt my mom’s behaviour towards me was different; she was more affectionate; she spoke to me differently; we were able to talk to each other without shouting. I felt lighter inside; I didn’t have so much anger towards her anymore. What I do recall is, perhaps six months after the constellation session, I expressed my gratitude towards her and apologised for what I had put her through in life, something I never would have done before. It’s now one year and five months after that constellation and, while our relationship isn’t perfect, it’s so much better than it was.’
Roxanne has participated in many sessions, and credits the therapy with bringing her greater peace and confidence. ‘I feel I’m softer, kinder. Many people comment on how I have changed, and I do believe that this healing therapy has assisted me in a huge way.’
This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.
'We have to tell HARD STORIES'
Theatre director and playwright Yaël Farber is spending time in South Africa after her critically acclaimed run of King Lear at the Almeida Theatre in London. We chatted to her about the importance of the pursuit of truth.
THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
We really got into it this month! Read on for more on the allure of a loosey-goosey jumpsuit, vintage-hunting and jingle-jangling jewellery, the best places to find quality African design and short-girl styling tips.
LIFT your GAME
Thought weightlifting was just for bodybuilders and powerlifters? Not so. In fact, 'lifting heavy shit' may be the secret to longevity, hormone regulation and mood for women through perimenopause and beyond.
TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
Armed with a six-month programme from Dr Nerina Wilkinson + Associates, Jennifer Morin set about tackling her sun damage and melasma.
PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.
BIG SKY Country
Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.
How to write a memoir
Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.