In the spirit of #DryJanuary (we know you’re thinking about it!), we explored the experiences and insights of people who have taken a break from alcohol for anything from a month to forever…
My birthday is at the end of February, so I’d go dry until then. Eventually I started doing “Ocsober”, too. By 2016, I’d go dry almost every second month. By silly season, there were loads of events with free drinks, and things started escalating. I thought: “I can’t drink at all these events; I just can’t drink so often during the week.” It became tiring.
So I decided I’d drink only on special occasions (Christmas, my dad’s 60th, New Year), but after December I decided to leave it altogether because it’s so hard to decide what’s a special occasion and what isn’t. I gradually drank less and less, and eventually I thought, “Why drink at all?”
People are usually freaked out by the idea – you spend most of your time justifying your decision. They want to know why, and always assume the worst: they think you caused an accident or ended up in jail or something. And they’re constantly trying to convince you to drink.
The biggest thing I learnt was that I’m actually an introvert – I don’t like socialising in big groups as much or as often as I thought I did. It was as if I’d discovered a new personality. Over the past year, I’ve realised that I’ve been going out less and less. People think it’s because it’s not fun for me to see other people drinking or because I’ll be tempted by alcohol. It’s not that. I just realised I didn’t ever like going out that much. Even when I was drinking, I preferred seeing a friend for dinner or a braai.
At first I was a bit depressed, because I was scared I might lose my friends or my social life. With alcohol taken out of the equation, half the incentive was gone. It’s hard for me to socialise in a big group when I’m not drunk; that was never actually me – it was just Drunk Me.
This story is from the January 2018 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the January 2018 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.
'We have to tell HARD STORIES'
Theatre director and playwright Yaël Farber is spending time in South Africa after her critically acclaimed run of King Lear at the Almeida Theatre in London. We chatted to her about the importance of the pursuit of truth.
THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
We really got into it this month! Read on for more on the allure of a loosey-goosey jumpsuit, vintage-hunting and jingle-jangling jewellery, the best places to find quality African design and short-girl styling tips.
LIFT your GAME
Thought weightlifting was just for bodybuilders and powerlifters? Not so. In fact, 'lifting heavy shit' may be the secret to longevity, hormone regulation and mood for women through perimenopause and beyond.
TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
Armed with a six-month programme from Dr Nerina Wilkinson + Associates, Jennifer Morin set about tackling her sun damage and melasma.
PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.
BIG SKY Country
Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.
How to write a memoir
Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.