One Moment In Time

In February this year, para-athlete and journalist Palesa ‘Deejay’ Manaleng won gold in the women’s H3 hand-cycle event at the 2018 SA National Road and Para-Cycling Championships in Outdshoorn, Western Cape. Four years earlier, she had lost the use of her legs in a terrible cycling accident. Here, she shares that terrifying experience and her personal story of recovery

- Palesa ‘Deejay’ Manaleng

One, two, move the legs. One, two, place my hand, lift and swing. I miss the toilet and land on the floor, my head missing the basin by an inch. I lie there for a second, struggling to hold back the flood of tears that is trying to break through.

I was discharged from rehab a few days ago and this is the first night that I am alone in my cottage. My mother has gone back to Witbank and the nurses and physios are left behind at the Netcare Rehabilitation Hospital. There is no one to lift me up, and I realise I don’t have the upper body strength to lift myself into my wheelchair or onto my bed. I drag myself around the cottage trying to find something to climb onto. I do this for hours on end and nothing seems to work. Finally, I let the tears pour, cursing every moment of my existence as a river flows down my face. I have wet my pants; the catheters are too high for me to reach when I am not sitting in the chair. My ankles are bleeding from all the dragging and banging against objects in the house. I cry myself to sleep, then awake to the realisation that I am still stuck on the floor. I spend three days trying to get myself onto a chair or at least, the bed. I fall, I roll, I drag myself across the floor. I cry, I grow tired and sleep, only to wake up and cry some more. I keep telling myself that I need to do this on my own.