California Dreaming

Is Christmas the time for hopeless romantic Alan to wake up?

- Peter J Hedge

I called Donna around three, just after I’d arrived at my California hotel room, but got her answering machine.

“Hi,” came her as ever-bubbly greeting. “This is Donna. Sorry I can’t take your call, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

After the beep I left my message.

“The eagle has landed,” I said. Feeling pleased with my choice of words, I hung up and went downstairs to the hotel lounge.

“Season’s greetings,” said the pretty girl behind the bar as I sat down and pulled my stool in close.

“I think you mean Merry Christmas.” I smiled at her.

“No,” she answered emphatically. “I meant what I said.”

“So what’s wrong with Christmas? Today is December the twenty-fifth, 1991, last time I checked.”

“Nothing,” she said. “Except that you might be Jewish or Muslim, when the day would have no special significance whatsoever.”

“But I’m neither,” I protested.

“Then in that case…” She smiled sweetly. “Merry Christmas!”

I shook my head in amusement.

“Sometimes I think this political correctness has gone a bit overboard.”

“Maybe,” she acknowledged. “But when tips make up most of your income that is supposed to support you through medical school, it doesn’t pay to risk offending anyone.”

I looked at the name badge that was pinned to her blouse.

“OK, Toni,” I said. “Then… the compliments of the season to you too.”

“See – you’re learning.” She grinned mischievously.

“You’re a medical student, then.”

“In my final year,” she said proudly. “Are you English?”