Make Or Break

From kids, finances and a fear of being alone, theres more than one reason partners choose to stay in an unhappy marriage. So how do you make the right decision? One woman shares her story

When Zoe Hendrix and Alex Garner from Married at First Sight Australia announced their split, fans were shocked and disappointed. They’d been the only couple in the history of the show to not only stay together but start a family. They had represented everything about love and relationships that gave us faith and hope.

What was interesting was that after the announcement Zoe was swamped with messages from women asking her how she’d known when to leave. It seems there are a lot of women out there who feel trapped in unhappy marriages but aren’t sure whether to stay or go.

Zoe’s answer was disappointing. It had been Alex who’d chosen to leave.

I had included myself in that group of trapped women, and not getting an answer was nothing short of frustrating. But it forced me to look for myself and, perhaps unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long to find.

I think I’ve known all along. I have just gone to extraordinary lengths to not have to face it.

PLAYING IT SAFE

I’m a mother of three in my 40s. My husband and I have been together 12 years and probably half of those have been unhappy.

When we met I was a single mum. I hadn’t been looking for love but he crept his way in. He was warm, fun and supportive. We bought a house, got married and had a baby. Those years were pretty good.

But we had a few factors working against us. It was my second marriage and, statistically speaking, second marriages are even less likely to work than firsts. We were an instant family, giving us little time on our own, and my husband had a job that required him to often work evenings and weekends.

Things began to deteriorate as we struggled to communicate or see eye to eye over issues like parenting and money.