Table For One: The Power Of Solitude

Would you go on holiday solo? How about to the movies? Or even – gasp – sit alone with your own thoughts? Many of us would do anything to avoid solitude (hello, Instagram), but as Anna Maxted discovers, we could well be missing out

I am alone in Paris, for work. Laughter and snatches of chat waft up from the narrow cobbled street, as people exit the elegant sushi bar opposite my hotel. I’m minutes from the Jardin du Palais Royal. The city is mine... yet I dine in my room on a squashed cheese sandwich that survived the journey from home. This is how I squander solitude.

Our relationship with being alone is complex. With busy work and family lives, many of us rarely have a moment to ourselves and yearn for tranquillity. But despite fantasising about peace and quiet, do we seek solitude? Would we go to the movies or to a restaurant without a companion? (Scoffing a sandwich or pastry at a lunch bar doesn’t count.) Do we even know how to be content in our own company?

THE LOST ART

According to New York Times travel writer Stephanie Rosenbloom, whose new book Alone Time: Four Seasons, Four Cities, and the Pleasures of Solitude follows her quest to find joy in her own company, solitude is a lost art. She cites a succession of studies to prove it – one memorable example found that, when left alone for 15 minutes in a room, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to give themselves an electric shock rather than sit quietly with their thoughts. “Many of us, even those who cherish alone time, are reluctant to do certain things on our own,” says Stephanie.

Solo travel, for instance, is booming – a recent TripAdvisor survey of 9181 women globally found that 74% had either travelled alone or had plans to do so. But when it comes to a simple trot down the road to see a film? Studies published in the Journal of Consumer Research in 2015 found that fewer than 30 percent of us would venture to the cinema alone.

SURROUND SOUND