MIFFY'S MERCY - How I found my joy

THE YOUTHLINE VOLUNTEER IS LIKE AN ANGEL TO KIDS IN CRISIS

- Leena Tailor

It’s heartbreakingly difficult to fathom that a child as young as nine could suffer from severely dark thoughts but as she endured a tumultuous childhood, that was the reality for Youthline worker Myfanwy Barling or, as she likes to be called, Miffy.

And while today the 26-year-old Aucklander recognises how the turbulent years of her youth strengthened her ability to help other young Kiwis facing tough times, as a child, Miffy’s situation impacted her confidence and self-esteem.

“I don’t know how those thoughts entered my mind, but it was a way of coping,” she says. “I didn’t want my life to end, but I wanted the pain and hurt of what I was going through to stop. So, there was comfort in those thoughts because they meant I had a way out if I needed it. They were my response to difficult, abnormal circumstances.”

As a child, she appeared an “outgoing, confident, happy kid” who loved to dance, but inside it was a different picture as Miffy’s suffering took its toll. “There was a lot of unhappiness. I struggled to believe in myself.”

At school, Miffy enjoyed subjects like English and reading, which allowed her to escape into another world. However, socially she felt out-of-place, worried how others perceived her and kept her pain to herself. “I felt nobody would understand and that was hugely isolating. It can be scary sharing your feelings.”