Would You Tell A Friend Their Husband Is Cheating?

None of us want to be in a position where we experience a friend’s partner behaving incorrectly, but how you handle it could change everything

- Kara O'neill, Nilufer Atik

We’ve probably all told the odd white lie to a friend. ‘That dress looks great on you’ or ‘Sure, the meal you cooked was delicious!’ We do it because we love them and we don’t want to hurt their feelings. A mistruth about fashion or cooking is arguably forgivable, but what about when it comes to their relationship?

Rod Stewart’s wife Penny Lancaster, 50, recently confessed that a friend’s partner made a pass at her, but said she decided not to say anything to her pal because there were ‘children involved’, instead choosing to distance herself from the situation. But keeping such a huge secret – lying by omission, some might call it – can take its toll on a friendship. Penny didn’t clarify whether she still maintained a relationship with the friend in question, but it would be fair to assume that by ‘distancing herself’, she couldn’t possibly be as close to her as she once was.

So how would you handle it if you saw a friend’s partner acting inappropriately – either to you or someone else? Do you tell all, and risk everything, knowing that what you’re about to say will change their life? Or do you keep quiet, knowing you’ll carry that burden for years? Woman investigates.

‘I DID WONDER IF I HAD DONE THE RIGHT THING’

Nilufer Atik, 46, is a writer and lives in Surrey with her son, four.