I Hate It When People Call It A Miscarriage

Comedian Lou Conran, 42, had to terminate her sick baby’s life. So why did she feel unable to talk about it?

- Lou Conran

I made a cashier in Boots cry the other day. I didn’t mean to. If anyone should have been crying, by rights it was me.

You see back in November last year, I got pregnant. It wasn’t supposed to happen because when I was 38, medical types told me my dusty womb was barren.

It took a few years to get my head round the fact I’d be childless, so at 41, to say this was a shock, was to say the least. I’d always wanted children but here I was pregnant by a man I didn’t really know. I couldn’t bring myself to remain with someone just because I was pregnant. After a few weeks I decided to call it a day.

I remained unimpressed about my pregnancy for months. At the 12-week scan I was nervous. But the test results all came back fine.

I put my lack of enthusiasm down to the fact that I felt absolutely awful. Working doing my comedy shows, I had constant sickness. But, when I started to feel a bit more human, I decided I was going to get excited about having a baby. I bought a cot and a sterilising kit and started clearing out the spare room for where my baby would sleep.

At the next scan, I was excited. For the first time in five months. My friend came with me, but then my life changed forever. ‘I’m going to stop the scan here. I’m seeing irregularities that I wouldn’t normally expect to see at this stage,’ the sonographer said.

Devastating news

The baby’s limbs were shorter than expected and there was a possibility that the baby had skeletal dysplasia.

She sent us to another hospital for a second opinion. And they confirmed it. The bones weren’t growing properly, the main issue being with the ribcage.