Soul SURVIVOR

SIDDHANT CHATURVEDI LAYS BARE HIS EMOTIONS TO JITESH PILLAAI, WHO LISTENS WITH A TEARY-EYED ATTENTION

My interview with Siddhant Chaturvedi is a hugely emotional affair. He breaks down while talking about his parents and how they supported him during his initial days.

My eyes well up listening to the tumultuous outpouring of emotions. Then, realising that things are getting too heavy, he shifts gears and starts joking around, making the ambience light again. The talk becomes more sedate when he starts talking about relationships. He goes on to describe how awkward he felt during the intimacy workshop with Deepika Padukone. He describes himself as raw, awkward, shy and vulnerable. Quite unlike the macho image we have of him. He speaks candidly and lets it all out. The interview is a sort of catharsis for him. Listening to him, recording his sentiments, makes my own heart weigh a little lighter. Excerpts:

IN KHO GAYE HUM KAHAN, WHAT REALLY INTRIGUED ME WAS THE TOPIC OF CHILD ABUSE. DID YOU DO ANY KIND OF RESEARCH ON IT FOR YOUR ROLE?

It was a sensitive topic to deal with and could have gone the other way. I had no reference point to play someone like that.

YOU DIDN'T RESEARCH IT?

Director Arjun Varain Singh and I spent a month meeting therapists and survivors to understand the impact of deeprooted trauma and how it shapes one's behaviour and childhood. I had to deeply empathise with the subject, which made me uneasy but essential for my performance. The final take you saw was spontaneous; Arjun gave me freedom to express the emotions naturally, which led to genuine tears on screen.

We worked closely with Zoya on crafting the monologue to convey the protagonist's long-held pain in a sincere, non-preachy way. The audience's connection and feedback were overwhelming after the film's release. After the release I got so many messages.

FROM MEN?