"The grief of losing my son never goes away'

Kimberley Morgan, 41, lives in Narberth with her children Yori, 18, and Nia, 12. Her son Gryff, who struggled with his mental health, took his own life in November 2021

- SANDRA WALSH

The weekend after my son Gryff died, I went with my family to the local beach in Pembrokeshire where we’d spent some of our happiest times. Gryff loved swimming and surfing there and taking his little dog Tango for long walks.

As we watched the sun setting, a dolphin suddenly appeared in the sea in front of us, the only time any of us had ever seen one there. For a while, it followed us as we walked along, splashing in and out of the water before gliding out to sea. It was as though Gryff had sent a sign and I kept thinking, “You’re free now, my beautiful boy.”

Gryff was just 18 years old when he took his own life. He was outgoing, charismatic and handsome – a talented athlete who had loads of friends and was kind, generous and full of energy. But he was very good at putting on a mask and pretending everything was OK when in truth he always found life a struggle. At school he worked hard and tried his best, but he’d have huge meltdowns when he got home. When he was little, I’d hold him on my knee until he calmed down but it got harder as he grew older.

At the age of 10, he was diagnosed with ADHD, which can cause difficulty with concentration. Other characteristics include acting impulsively and being disorganised. He was also diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, which can lead to anger and aggression. It was a relief to have these diagnoses, but the support I hoped would open up never materialised, perhaps because he always seemed to be coping.