Thank you (in case no one has said this yet) for listening to late-catalogue Taylor Swift all the way here instead of early-catalogue Taylor Dayne, like you wanted. Thank you, too, for driving past the Starbucks on the highway and spending forty minutes looking for a local coffee shop, and waiting patiently for an oat-milk chai latte to be prepared and served in a ceramic cup, then consumed while seated on a too small stool at a too small table under the leaves of a looming potted bird-of-paradise. To insure that your prospective student continues to have an optimal experience today, we’ve got a few rules for you, you awesome parents! Violation of any of these rules could negatively affect your child’s chances of attending college here, because they’ll forever dwell in a hole of embarrassment in the middle of the Earth. So, yeah, don’t do these things:
This story is from the June 19, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
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This story is from the June 19, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
YULE RULES
“Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point.”
COLLISION COURSE
In Devika Rege’ first novel, India enters a troubling new era.
NEW CHAPTER
Is the twentieth-century novel a genre unto itself?
STUCK ON YOU
Pain and pleasure at a tattoo convention.
HEAVY SNOW HAN KANG
Kyungha-ya. That was the entirety of Inseon’s message: my name.
REPRISE
Reckoning with Donald Trump's return to power.
WHAT'S YOUR PARENTING-FAILURE STYLE?
Whether you’re horrifying your teen with nauseating sex-ed analogies or watching TikToks while your toddler eats a bagel from the subway floor, face it: you’re flailing in the vast chasm of your child’s relentless needs.
COLOR INSTINCT
Jadé Fadojutimi, a British painter, sees the world through a prism.
THE FAMILY PLAN
The pro-life movement’ new playbook.
President for Sale - A survey of today's political ads.
On a mid-October Sunday not long ago sun high, wind cool-I was in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, for a book festival, and I took a stroll. There were few people on the streets-like the population of a lot of capital cities, Harrisburg's swells on weekdays with lawyers and lobbyists and legislative staffers, and dwindles on the weekends. But, on the façades of small businesses and in the doorways of private homes, I could see evidence of political activity. Across from the sparkling Susquehanna River, there was a row of Democratic lawn signs: Malcolm Kenyatta for auditor general, Bob Casey for U.S. Senate, and, most important, in white letters atop a periwinkle not unlike that of the sky, Kamala Harris for President.
