Also, we regret to inform you that your children were exposed to lice at orientation. Consider the “getting sick at school” Band-Aid to be hereby ripped off! Fear not—we have lice checkers coming tomorrow, and we’ll make sure to let you know if your child is a carrier and thus not welcome back at school for a week.
Dear Parents,
Can you believe week one is already behind us? Apologies to everyone who wasn’t allowed to join owing to parasites, but if that’s you we have some good news. You weren’t exposed to COVID. This is a notification that everyone else was. Please make sure to monitor your child. Though the symptoms may be mild, the ramifications for your child-care situation will be earth-shattering.
Dear Parents,
We have a theory here at Kinder kids, and that theory is: Everyone is going to get pink eye eventually, so why not now? In other words, all your children now have pink eye. It looks sort of cool, though—like they’re all Shredder from the new “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”? We’ll try to get a pic and send it via the Brightwheel app.
Dear Parents,
This story is from the November 20, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
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This story is from the November 20, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
ART OF STONE
\"The Brutalist.\"
MOMMA MIA
Audra McDonald triumphs in \"Gypsy\" on Broadway.
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
\"Black Doves,\" on Netflix.
NATURE STUDIES
Kyle Abraham's “Dear Lord, Make Me Beautiful.”
WHAT GOOD IS MORALITY?
Ask not just where it came from but what it does for us
THE SPOTIFY SYNDROME
What is the world's largest music-streaming platform really costing us?
THE LEPER - LEE CHANGDONG
. . . to survive, to hang on, waiting for the new world to dawn, what can you do but become a leper nobody in the world would deign to touch? - From \"Windy Evening,\" by Kim Seong-dong.
YOU WON'T GET FREE OF IT
Alice Munro's partner sexually abused her daughter. The harm ran through the work and the family.
TALK SENSE
How much sway does our language have over our thinking?
TO THE DETECTIVE INVESTIGATING MY MURDER
Dear Detective, I'm not dead, but a lot of people can't stand me. What I mean is that breathing is not an activity they want me to keep doing. What I mean is, they want to knock me off. My days are numbered.
